Hard to Say

Many think that communication is easy,

simply open our mouths while sound emits. But in reality, speaking is an art form.

Our thoughts often impede with what we’re communicating, usually through some form of fear. Usually this fear takes the guise of embarrassment, which can lead to all sorts of feelings such as shame and regret. These thoughts tell us things like what we have to say is dumb, causing conflict, not important, just causing drama, &/or not pleasing for others to hear.

Between All of that and the standard societal designations of what is and isn’t ‘polite’ to say/discuss at the dinner table… Whew….that’s a lot of gunk to sort through before we even say anything!

Speaking not only requires us to be a speech artist but a thought artist too.

Then even more conflict can arise when these fears clash with what our heart-mind tells us to speak freely.

A sufi saying : Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, ask yourself ‘Is is true.’ At the second gate ask, ‘Is it necessary.’ At the third gate ask, ‘Is it kind.’

However, should one check and find that these thoughts are in fact based on fear, another question must be brought to the mind’s attention…. “what is there to lose/gain by saying this?”

Is it worth it to hold one’s tongue and feel these unpleasant thoughts at the expense of one’s self integrity?

Why hold on to these fears instead of just let go?

Does letting go mean saying things out loud or does it mean realizing that it is anger not heart that is fueling our words?

It’s like inhaling and not exhaling.

We must allow our selves to breathe. In either circumstance.

~written with some help from the lovely Saeng-Fah

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