Doing Things With vs. Doing Things For

At this point and time in society, many talking political heads and religious dogma create an atmosphere where most people either want to avoid or jump into the fracas with others.

The fundamental difference between these two types of mindsets are simple, as one seeks to avoid discord, perhaps even to the point of doing things for other people just so there is no discord. These types of people tend to suppress many parts of themselves, especially their voice for fear of starting disharmony, unfortunately at their own expense.

Then there are those who like to jump into all kinds of debates, parties, etc so as they can either share/cram their views and thoughts down the minds of others, or at the very least seem to enjoy starting all kinds of debates, even if it’s just to get people thinking and talking, though it can be quite contentious.

There is a middle path, one that many, including myself are still learning.

We need to understand when to speak up so that we may honor ourselves, which in return doesn’t fill our selves up with the mindsets of others. For example, maybe someone may ask you to wash the dishes, but you have to urinate. Instead of just blindly doing the task, we must feel confident enough in ourselves to say, “Hey sure, but I’d like to use the washroom first.” But if the person doing the asking were to then say something like, “No, you must do the dishwashing before you use the washroom,” then we have to be even more confident in ourselves to explain why we don’t feel “right” about doing that.

Now on the other hand, if you are one of those types that enjoy sparking debates/conversation, one must be acutely aware of how things are said, especially if you know you are talking to someone with a different or opposing view, because often, these are views that have settled in people for quite sometime and it’s something they are comfortable with. So to rock their boats too much may cause more harm than a good conversation. You would probably find much resistance if you walked into your math teacher’s room/office and said “I think math is the worst idea ever and should stop happening” than if you said, “What can you tell me about math that would make me like it more.” Tact is everything in these types of situations, as folks can get quite touchy with their beliefs if they feel threatened or challenged.

Intention pays a large role as well.


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